This Month’s "What Were They Thinking?" Award goes to
The Entire Pennsylvania General Assembly

Pennsylvania’s State Legislature recently increased their own pensions by 50% as part of a bill that increased teacher’s pensions by 25% - even though the Teacher’s Union had not even asked for an increase. Nobody should be surprised but we should all be angry that there was virtually no discussion on the floor of either the House or the Senate before the vote was taken.

When our illustrious representatives realized that their little ploy to fill their pockets was going to cost the taxpayer’s hundreds of millions of dollars and an election was coming up, they quickly decided to phase-in (but did not reduce) the increased costs for the teacher’s pensions so that the true cost would be hidden from the voters. The trickery worked and voters sent most of them back to Harrisburg.

Unfortunately, in 2003 (an off-year for state offices), the taxpayers found that their school taxes were going through the roof while their own pensions were going down the tubes. In the Central Bucks School District, taxpayers are paying an extra $1.7 million in 2003 simply to cover the increased pension costs and every district across the state is in a similar situation. To make matters worse, the tax increases needed to fund the teacher’s pension will get progressively higher over the next five years as the program is fully phased-in.

Idiotic Acts of the Past

Taxpayers advocacy groups have formed to highlight government waste and work toward better accountability. Also, projects such as former Wisconsin senator William Proxmire’s ‘Golden Fleece Award’ bring attention to particularly bizarre and wasteful government spending. The Golden Fleece was awarded between 1975 and 1988 to government agencies which demonstrated blatant disregard for taxpayers.

Some memorable Golden Fleece Awards:

February 1977, Law Enforcement Assistance Administration
Spent almost $27,000 studying why inmates want to escape from prison.

May 1977, National Endowment for the Humanities
$25,000 was granted to Arlington County, Virginia to study rude behavior on the tennis court.

June 1978, Federal Highway Administration
Spent $222,000 studying “Motorist Attitudes Toward Large Trucks.”

August 1978, Department of Agriculture
Your money at work: confined pregnant pigs used treadmills to alleviate their stress and boredom.

October 1978, Environmental Protection Agency
After spending $38,174 on a two-year study, the EPA managed to conclude that runoff from stacks of cow manure on Vermont farms is responsible for nearby water pollution.

December 1978, Office of Education
A “curriculum package” with a $219,592 price tag was developed to educate college students on how to watch television.

June 1980, Department of Commerce
Spent almost $100,000 for an outside public relations firm to review the agency’s PR strategy.

June 1981, Department of Commerce
The City and County of Honolulu received $28,600 to study how to best spend another $250,000 for a good surfing beach.

July 1981, Department of the Army
Spent $6,000 for a 17-page report informing the federal government how to buy a bottle of Worcestershire sauce.

September 1981, Department of Commerce’s Economic Development Administration
$200,000 to build an 800 foot replica of the Great Wall of China in Bedford, IN.

March 1983, Department of the Navy
A Navy captain’s office was redecorated at a cost to taxpayers of $11,225.

August 1984, Health Care Financing Administration
Allowed Medicaid to pay for “chance meetings” between patients and psychiatrists (such as in the grocery store or walking down the street) at an expense of $40-80 million of the course of four years.

February 1985, Department of Defense
Nine members of Congress were specially flown into Washington, DC for a close vote on a missile project, at a taxpayer expense of $28,000.

May 1985, Department of Housing and Urban Development
Spent over $1 million of taxpayer money to build an access road, ramp, and tunnel to a private spa.

May 1986, Department of Defense
In 1985 alone, DOD spent over $850,000 to entertain foreign dignitaries.

Stupid Laws

Idiotic laws are rampant throughout the country- some enforced, some not. It strikes us as remarkable that our lawmakers have enough time on their hands to pass such bizarre legislation. Most of these laws are still on the books, though some have been thankfully repealed in recent years.

Disclaimer: The information provided on this page is for entertainment purposes only. The laws listed below have been compiled from a variety of sources that claim that they are legitimate and you will recognize some of them yourself. However, their authenticity has not been verified by our organization and they are only provided to display how the valuable time and attention of our elected representatives is not necessarily well-allocated to what might be considered “important issues.”

Stupid Pennsylvania Laws

You may not catch a fish with your hands, or for that matter, by any body part except the mouth. And, it is illegal to use dynamite to catch fish.

It is illegal for one to fall sleep on top of a refrigerator.

More than 16 women may not live in a house together because that constitutes a brothel, though up to 120 men can live together without breaking the law.

It is illegal for fireworks stores to sell fireworks to Pennsylvania residents.

Motorized vehicles cannot be sold on Sundays.

In case you were thinking of disrupting a wedding, understand that it is illegal in Pennsylvania to use an explosive weapon at a wedding.

When cleaning your house, it is expressly prohibited to sweep dirt under the rug.

If you have ever participated in a duel, forget about your political career... You are now ineligible to become Pennsylvania Governor.

Stupid Laws from Other States

Alabama:
It is illegal for a man to spit in front of a woman.

Any person operating a motor vehicle must not be wearing a blindfold.

Alaska:
Citizens are not permitted to give alcoholic drinks to moose.

Arizona:

No camel hunting is permitted in the state.

California:
One may not shoot an animal from a moving car, except whales.

Elephants are not permitted as pets.

Connecticut:
Pickles are legally defined as having to bounce on the ground in order to be considered a pickle.

It is illegal to educate your dog.

Florida
If one must park their elephant at a streetcurb, the same fee as a vehicle must be paid.

Georgia
But... In Georgia, it’s illegal to tie your giraffe to a parking meter.

Chickens are not legally permitted to cross roads.

Hawaii
One cannot legally insert coins into one’s ears.

Idaho
It is illegal to ride on a merry-go-round on a Sunday.

Fishing from a camel’s back is prohibited.

Illinois
It is prohibited to eat a meal in an establishment which is on fire.

One may not give one’s dog a drink of whiskey.

Indiana
Barbers may not threaten to chop off a child’s ears.

Liquor stores are prohibited from selling milk or soft drinks.

Iowa
A man with a mustache may not publicly kiss a woman.

And for those of you without mustaches, kisses may only last for five minutes.

Kansas
Some hunting rules: fish may not be caught with bare hands; mules are not allowed to assist in duck hunting, and rabbits may not be shot from motorboats.

If two trains meet on the same track, neither is allowed to move until the other has passed. (Interestingly, several other states have this peculiar law as well.)

Kentucky
All bees entering Kentucky must have by certificates of health, stating that the bees are free from infectious disease.

Louisiana
You may not tie an alligator to a fire hydrant.

Maine
When walking down the street, one’s shoelaces must be tied.

Maryland
Lions are not permitted inside movie theaters.

You may not eat while swimming in the ocean.

Massachusetts
Mules are not allowed to be kept on the second floor of a building... Except if there are two exits, of course.

Keep your gorilla at home: no gorillas are allowed in the back seat of your car.

It is illegal to peep in the windows of a car.

You may not purposefully frighten pigeons.

Michigan
If an intruder hurts himself or herself while robbing your home, he or she is legally allowed to sue.

It is illegal to curse in the presence of women and children.

Minnesota
It is forbidden to eat hamburgers on Sundays.

Missouri
A group of four women are not permitted to rent an apartment together.

Montana
It is a felony for a wife to open her husband's mail.

Sheep may not be left alone in the cab of a truck.

Nebraska
Ever the environmentalists... No whale fishing is allowed.

Nevada
No camels are allowed on the highways.

New Hampshire
If someone is caught picking up litter or tidying up a public area with a permit, he/she may be fined $150 for ''maintaining the national forest without a permit''.

New Jersey
All gas stations are full service, making it illegal in New Jersey to pump your own gas.

It is illegal to "frown" at a police officer.

One of the many consequences of drunk driving... You are never again allowed to use personalized (“vanity”) license plates.

New York
You may not wear slippers after 10 PM.

You may not walk around with an ice cream cone in your pocket on Sundays.

North Carolina
Yet another elephant law... they may not be used to plow cotton fields.

Bicyclists must have two hands on the handle bars at all times.

Speaking of transportation... No rollerblading on state highways, either, in case you were under the impression that this would be a good idea.

North Dakota
Beer and pretzels may not be served at the same time in any bar or restaurant.

Ohio
If your tiger happens to escape, you must notify the police within one hour.

If you’re fishing for whales (in Ohio, mind you), don’t do it on a Sunday- it’s illegal.

You must have a hunting license to catch a mouse.

Oklahoma
Someone can be fined and/or arrested for making unpleasant faces at a dog.

You may not bring your pet fish in a fishbowl on a public bus.

Oregon
Wedding ceremonies may not be performed at skating rinks.

It is illegal to whistle underwater.

You are not permitted to box with a kangaroo, provided you somehow come across one in Oregon.

Pennsylvania
See above list.

Rhode Island
On Sundays... Professional sports (with the exception of ice polo and hockey) need a license to play... And store clerks may not sell both toothpaste and a toothbrush to someone.

South Carolina
Your horse may not be kept in your bathtub.

If a man promises to marry a woman, he is then bound by law to do so.

South Dakota
Don’t get tired in a cheese factory, because you’ll break the law if you lie down and fall asleep.

Tennessee
Just like in California, whales are the only game that may be shot from a moving vehicle.

You may not catch fish with a lasso.

Frogs are prohibited from croaking after 11 PM.

Texas
It is against the law to milk a cow which does not belong to you.

While standing up, you are only allowed to take three sips of beer at a time.

Utah
You may not detonate a nuclear weapon, though you are apparently free to have one in your possession.

You may not fish while riding a horse.

Throwing snowballs comes with a $50 fine.

Virginia
You must wear shoes while driving your car.

Washington
It is against the law to pretend that your parents are wealthy.

West Virginia
Feel free to eat road kill- it’s completely legal in West Virginia.

Wisconsin
Don’t wake a sleeping fireman or you’ll break the law.

Wyoming
For all you photographers out there... You are legally prohibited from taking pictures of rabbits during the month of June.